FATTY SNAPSHOT AT WEEK 2
Last week: 133.5 kgs
Today: 133.0 kgs
Loss / gain: - 0.5 kgs
Starting weight: 138.5 kgs
Goal weight: 80 kgs
Total lost so far: – 5.5 kgs
I had a few stressers last week, and for some reason managed to justify myself that I deserved a treat. The tricks we play on ourselves… well, at least I hope I’m not the only fat person that does that?
I had to go to the dentist on Friday, and I have a phobia of dentists so I found it quite traumatic and couldn’t stop shaking even hours later. I’m sure the shaking was down to the experience rather than low blood sugar levels from the shakes. But I decided to eat some proper food, and I had pork belly with roasted potato, roasted garlic cloves and some parmesan. It was AMAZINGGGG, but still, I shouldn’t have done it. If I’m really struggling to stick to plan or feeling particularly hungry, I do allow myself to have the odd bit of meat / protein so I don’t go out of ketosis, but that was just unnecessary. It was a big portion too.
Then on Sunday night I had a meatball Subway with a cookie… and yesterday I had 12 Subway cookies. Man!!!! The only saving grace is that I either didn’t have any shakes / meal replacements at all, or I had just one.
Anyway, I’m refocused now… it’s a new week and I need to put that behind me and make sure I am monitoring my self-talk and not sabotaging myself. I kind of sketched out a little plan for how much I would like to lose over the next few months. The ultimate goal is to get below 80kgs, but my sister is coming over in July and I would love, love, love to get below 100kgs by the time she arrives. That would mean I have to lose 2kg’s a week consistently until July. If I have that as my focus, then losing just half a kg this week I am now 1.5kg’s below target to achieve that.
Well, I spose in the scheme of things it’s just a number and it’s obviously not set in stone… but I have this scenario in my head that when I see her again she is so shocked to see me. So I guess what I realllllly want, is not necessary to get below 100kgs, but to look visibly different to people. The lowest weight I can remember being as a grown woman was 107kgs, and now at 133kgs I still have clothes from that time that I wear… OK, they may be somewhat stretchy clothes but I really don’t feel any different.
I don’t feel fatter than then, though I clearly am much fatter. Well, until last week I was 30kgs fatter! And when I got down to 119kgs last year, I am still wearing the very same skinny jeans – not stretchy fake denim stuff either – so I don’t really know how much exactly I have to lose before I get it. I think having that visual confirmation from someone else, especially from my sister who I love more than the world and back, will really help me realise that I am changing… and it’s not all for nothing.
So… I’m going to strive for just under 100kgs until mid July… and if I don’t reach it but she totally notices a difference, then I will have achieved what I set out for.
I also have another important reason to lose as much weight as quickly as possible (aside from the fertility operation I need), which I’ll blog about this week… it relates to my dental appointment on Friday.
Last week I set some mini-goals that I wanted to achieve during the week… but I totally didn’t even attempt them so I am not sure if I am going to do that each week and continually disappoint myself (unless, shock, horror, I manage to actually do them!) … or just keep setting them as a reminder to pull my finger out… I’ll ponder that over the week. Oh hell… let’s face it, I probably won’t even do that!
FATTY TARGETS FOR WEEK 3
Goal to lose: -3 kgs
Exercise: 3 x 30 minute walks & 1 x swim
FATTY TARGETS FOR WEEK 2
Goal to lose: -3 kgs (FAIL: -0.5kgs)
Exercise: 3 x 30 minute walks & 1 x swim (FAIL: none)