Weighty Wednesday: Week 2

FATTY SNAPSHOT AT WEEK 2
Last week:                    133.5 kgs
Today:                            133.0 kgs
Loss / gain:                  - 0.5 kgs

Starting weight:        138.5 kgs
Goal weight:               80 kgs
Total lost so far:        – 5.5 kgs

Well, a loss is a loss I supposeeeeee.  I’m disappointed I didn’t lose more, but then I didn’t put in 100% effort, so I should be pleased I lost.

I had a few stressers last week, and for some reason managed to justify myself that I deserved a treat.  The tricks we play on ourselves… well, at least I hope I’m not the only fat person that does that?

I had to go to the dentist on Friday, and I have a phobia of dentists so I found it quite traumatic and couldn’t stop shaking even hours later.  I’m sure the shaking was down to the experience rather than low blood sugar levels from the shakes. But I decided to eat some proper food, and I had pork belly with roasted potato, roasted garlic cloves and some parmesan.  It was AMAZINGGGG, but still, I shouldn’t have done it.  If I’m really struggling to stick to plan or feeling particularly hungry, I do allow myself to have the odd bit of meat / protein so I don’t go out of ketosis, but that was just unnecessary. It was a big portion too.

Then on Sunday night I had a meatball Subway with a cookie… and yesterday I had 12 Subway cookies. Man!!!!   The only saving grace is that I either didn’t have any shakes / meal replacements at all, or I had just one.

Anyway, I’m refocused now… it’s a new week and I need to put that behind me and make sure I am monitoring my self-talk and not sabotaging myself.  I kind of sketched out a little plan for how much I would like to lose over the next few months.  The ultimate goal is to get below 80kgs, but my sister is coming over in July and I would love, love, love to get below 100kgs by the time she arrives.  That would mean I have to lose 2kg’s a week consistently until July.  If I have that as my focus, then losing just half a kg this week I am now 1.5kg’s below target to achieve that.

Well, I spose in the scheme of things it’s just a number and it’s obviously not set in stone… but I have this scenario in my head that when I see her again she is so shocked to see me.  So I guess what I realllllly want, is not necessary to get below 100kgs, but to look visibly different to people.  The lowest weight I can remember being as a grown woman was 107kgs, and now at 133kgs I still have clothes from that time that I wear… OK, they may be somewhat stretchy clothes but I really don’t feel any different.

I don’t feel fatter than then, though I clearly am much fatter.  Well, until last week I was 30kgs fatter!  And when I got down to 119kgs last year, I am still wearing the very same skinny jeans – not stretchy fake denim stuff either – so I don’t really know how much exactly I have to lose before I get it.  I think having that visual confirmation from someone else, especially from my sister who I love more than the world and back, will really help me realise that I am changing… and it’s not all for nothing.

So… I’m going to strive for just under 100kgs until mid July… and if I don’t reach it but she totally notices a difference, then I will have achieved what I set out for.

I also have another important reason to lose as much weight as quickly as possible (aside from the fertility operation I need), which I’ll blog about this week… it relates to my dental appointment on Friday.

Last week I set some mini-goals that I wanted to achieve during the week… but I totally didn’t even attempt them so I am not sure if I am going to do that each week and continually disappoint myself (unless, shock, horror, I manage to actually do them!) … or just keep setting them as a reminder to pull my finger out… I’ll ponder that over the week.  Oh hell… let’s face it, I probably won’t even do that!

FATTY TARGETS FOR WEEK 3
Goal to lose:                -3 kgs
Exercise:                      3 x 30 minute walks & 1 x swim

FATTY TARGETS FOR WEEK 2
Goal to lose:                -3 kgs (FAIL:  -0.5kgs)
Exercise:                      3 x 30 minute walks & 1 x swim  (FAIL: none)

Weighty Wednesday: Week 1

FATTY SNAPSHOT AT WEEK 1
Last week:                    138.5 kgs
Today:                            133.5 kgs
Loss / gain:                  - 5 kgs

Starting weight:        138.5 kgs
Goal weight:               80 kgs
Total lost so far:        – 5 kgs

I really don’t understand what goes on with my body… which is down to having a shitty metabolism, what is because of PCOS and what might be due to the bile salt malabsorption I have that no one can seem to tell me what it means.

The cheeky weigh-in I did after three days on the diet showed I had already lost 6kgs in those three days.  I weigh myself on day 7 and I have put on 1kg since Saturday!  So, if I hadn’t done a cheeky weigh in I would be sat here right now stoked that I lost 5 whole kgs this week, rather than absolutely gutted and confused about how I managed to gain 1kg on this diet.

In full disclosure, I haven’t really been drinking enough water (despite my water rant the other day) and I haven’t been 100% on the plan, but I have only supplemented shakes with pure protein which you are allowed to do.  You can have three shakes a day and protein or you can have four shakes a day and nothing else.  So, on the days when I have been having protein, I only had two or three shakes and not four.  To compensate, ya know.

So, my body should still be in ketosis and burning fat at a good rate… and yet it didn’t.  Perhaps this is a combination of not drinking enough water and not getting the right number of calories in so my body is instead hanging onto the fat as it thinks it’s in starvation mode?

I’ll rectify that this week, and might also incorporate in a few small walks (you aren’t meant to exercise that heavily on a VLCD as it freaks your body out because it has so few calories in reserve).  Let’s see if that makes a difference next week.  I am also going to try hard to resist a cheeky weigh-in this week.

FATTY TARGETS FOR WEEK 2
Goal to lose:                -3 kgs
Exercise:                      3 x 30 minute walks & 1 x swim

All about liquids and making sure I’m getting enough

I don’t know how it is for you, but when I’m really not making a concerted to put healthy food into my mouth, I really don’t put a lot of liquid in either.  And it’s only when I do start making a concious effort to drink more water that I realise just how thirsty I am!

We’ve all heard about how often when you feel hungry, it’s actually thirst and that an overwhelming majority of people are actually dehydrated all of the time.  The BBC describe the signs of dehydration (in adults) as:

• Dry mouth, eyes and lips
• Headache
• Tiredness
• Dizziness or light-headedness
• Decreased urine output
• Muscle weakness

I know a lot of why I should be keeping hydrated (with the right kind, Coke doesn’t count sadly haha)… but putting that into practice is a whole other matter entirely.  There’s confusing info on just how much you should drink… 1 litre… 1.5 litres… 2 litres… 8 glasses… So, I’ve taken the below directly from the NHS Choices website, I didn’t realise we got quite as much water from food as we do!  Of course, I’m sure that depends on your diet, I’m just guessing that a chicken salad has more water content than a McChicken

“To stay healthy, it’s important to replace the fluid we lose when we breathe, sweat or urinate.

The amount a person needs to drink to avoid getting deyhdrated will vary depending on a range of factors, including their size, the temperature and how active they are. However, as a guide, the Department of Health recommends that we should drink about 1.2 litres of fluid every day. This works out to be about six 200ml or eight 150ml glasses. The total amount of fluid we lose each day and need to replace is in fact greater than this – about 2.5 litres – but we get 1 litre of the fluid we need from food and the body recovers 0.3 litres from chemical reactions in our cells. The rest needs to be taken from drinks.

All drinks count, but water, milk and fruit juices are the healthiest. It is best to avoid alcoholic drinks.“

On a VLCD diet, they stress that it’s important you drink between 2-3 litres a day (spread out throughout the day), so that you can flush the ketones from your body.  But when you are going from having 3 cups of tea a day as pretty much your only liquid, 2 litres can seem like an awfully big task (not to mention 3!).  This is what Slim and Save say about drinking water whilst on a VLCD:

“It is very important to consume at least eight glasses of water or other liquid per day. It is very important that we constantly replace our body fluids. Sufficient liquid intake is also necessary to maintain proper kidney function. You should drink 2-3 litres of fluid a day. The main reason for this is a very low calorie diet (VLCD) which produces a natural water loss and this must be replaced. Food is largely composed of water, just like our bodies and while on the programme it is necessary to compensate for the fluid that would otherwise have been taken in through food. It is important to keep the body’s fluid levels topped up to prevent the unpleasant symptoms of dehydration – headache, dizziness, fatigue, irritability and constipation. If you can you should drink 250ml of water before each sachet or bar to dilute the concentration of minerals and to help prevent any possible feeling of nausea. Extra fluid enables the body to get rid of the waste products associated with the breakdown of fats resulting from weight loss.“

One thing I am not certain about with Slim and Save’s directions though, is if the 300mls or so that you use to make up the shake or the meal counts towards the water intake.  I should try and find that out.

I really can’t rely on myself to get up and get 8 glasses of water throughout the day… I need to have that constant visual reminder, so what I do is get a 1.5 or 2 litre bottled water and make sure that it’s full in the morning and empty by the time I go to bed.  If it’s a 2 litre bottle, fine.. but 1.5 litres (whilst meeting the NHS recommendations) isn’t quite hitting the mark.  so I try and get through that and at least half of another one.

Drinking so much water sure is boring though!!!  And you do have to get up sooooo often to pee… but that gets better after a few days once your body is used to drinking that much water again.  I know this might sound a bit weird, but I actually enjoy the sensation of waking up in the morning and my bladder actually hurting cause it’s fit to burst.  It makes me feel good that I’ve drunk enough the previous day and also, the relief when you go pee is something else haha.

What I am also doing to try and help with my drink in take is to drink a pot of spearmint tea throughout the day.  I measured the water that fits in my tea pot, so if I get through that it’s 1 litre.  I am choosing spearmint because I’ve read a lot about the benefits of spearmint tea on PCOS.  I’ll blog more about that later on.

If you have any tips on how you make sure you’re getting your water intake pleaseeee share!

Cheeky weigh in… WTF?!

OK, oh my god.

I wasn’t expecting this!!!  I was chatting with my sister earlier in the week and she asked how much I was hoping to lose in the first week.  My answer was a realistic 3kgs (realistic for week one of a VLCD it’s important to note).  She said no, she had a feeling it would be more like 5kgs.  I was hoping she was closer than I was.

So, when I just jumped on the scales… I was hoping to have lost about 1.5kgs after three full days.  But I’ve lost 6kgs!!!!!! That’s a whole stone in three days!  WHAT?!?!  I am now 132.5kgs.  I’m excited to weigh in again on Wednesday morning and see how I do.  I’d love to lose another 3kgs by then, taking me under 130kgs.  Is 9kgs in a week that even possible outside of The Biggest Loser?

I’m really going to make a proper effort to blog regularly. I know I’ve said that before… but I think things are different this time. I hope things are different this time.  There’s some things I want to blog about, like how my wardrobe is full of clothes I love but have never worn because they are too small and I’ve planned to slim down into them. I’d also like to do some before photos and measurements… I’m thinking it would be good to do photos if not every week then at least once a month.  Or, even if I just take them once a week myself, I can just share them once a month on here.  I also want to talk about PCOS, back pain and something I just realised in the last few days doing the VLCD, that strangely I didn’t really notice before, is that I think about food an awful bloody lot.

I’m also thinking I might change the name of the blog and starting about some other things… like love… and control… self love… finding / being in love… self control… taking control… and how all those things have contributed to me being in the position I am at 138.5kgs 132.5kgs and how I need to focus on those in order to get where I want to get to, and to be living the kind of life I have been just sat on my fat arse waiting to live.

If anyone does actually read this, I’d love to follow along with your blogs if you’re also blogging about weight loss or PCOS or anything else?

Trying….. AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN

When my long term boyfriend and I broke up last year, that’s when I really lost focus on my weight loss.  Until then, although I had only been on it for two months, I was doing really well and had lost about 14kgs.  My big motivation for losing weight was because we were going to start trying for a family.

Then we broke up, my world crumbled. I picked myself back up, I started dating (it’s hard to do any diet when you dating but especially a VLCD!) and I stopped and started my diet many, many times (most of which I didn’t even attempt to blog about).

There was a lot of other stuff going on in my life at the time, and so it was extra hard to really focus on that when everything else going on around me was up in the air, stressing me the hell out and just making me want to dive into the nearest rainbow cookie from Subway.  But since then, my ex and I have kind of reconciled (in the sense that I agreed to give him another chance if he demonstrated he has changed [that is a much longer story that I may / may not blog about]), the situation that was all consuming was resolved and I just instantly felt like the weight of the world had lifted off my shoulders.

So, with this man who’s babies I’ve dreamt of having since I first laid eyes on him back on the scene and telling me he is ready to move things forward… it was no coincidence that I felt instantly motivated to focus on the diet again. But it’s different this time, in the sense that I’ve been thinking a lot over the last few months that it’s not just about starting a family. I also want to get fit. I want to get healthy. I want to see just how powerful and strong and capable my body is. I want to sort out my back problems.  So, with or without Him I am going to do this. If I had stuck to it last year when I started I would be at my goal weight and maintaining by now…. well, but then if I had stuck to it when I first started this blog all that time ago………

So, today is the day. Weighty Wednesday as it shall now be known. The day I weigh in.

I nearly cried and screamed this morning when I discovered I am my FATTEST EVER WEIGHT…. LIKE… EVER!!!

I had weighed myself on Friday and I was 135kgs (and although it was just 1.5kgs up from when I last weighed, it was also a new high. fuck)… and I was going out drinking and dancing on Saturday and then it was my birthday on Monday… so Wednesday seemed like a sensible day to start.  So, when I jumped on the scales (ok, well the Wii) this morning I wanted to punch my fist through the TV!!

138.5kgs
What the holy fuck?!?!

For starters, how do you put on 3.5kgs in as many days?  I hadn’t even binged during that time! There was no birthday cake… no hungover day inhaling every carb in sight.  In fact, Saturday I barely ate until the evening when I had two pieces of chicken, a bit of bread and some cherry tomatoes. Then I drank a bottle and a bit of wine. Then on Sunday I had a cheeseburger and some chicken nuggets and some fizzy pop. Monday I had scones, Thai red curry and ice-cream. Tuesday, I ate left over Thai red curry with toast for breakfast.  That doesn’t equate to almost 4kgs people!

Argh. I pretty much hate myself right now.  I still feel positive in the sense that ok, I know my starting point now. I know that the VLCD works for me, I just need to be disciplined. This weight will come off.  I need to work at it.  But at the same time, WTF? How is this my life? I’m still wearing the exact same clothes as I was wearing when I got down to 120kgs. Literally, the same freaking clothes. Skinny jeans, form fitting tops. Why can’t I feel or see this extra 18kgs on my body?!

Ah well…. best get on with it.  I might have a cheeky mid-week weigh in.

84 days and 16 lbs later…

That’s how long it’s been since my last weigh in, and that’s how many pounds I have gained in that time. Man.

Today’s the first day back on the Slim and Save. Hoping to lose 6lbs this week…

Current weight: 126.5kgs

I’m so annoyed with myself… but I best get over that quickly and just get focused. Do I start from Week 1 all over again?

Cheeky weigh in: Week 12.3

After the disaster that was last week (gaining an impressive 1.5kgs in a week), I have been fairly good so far this week.  My diet week starts from Mondays btw.

I did go off plan on Tuesday, I had a Big Mac Meal… tsk tsk.  But, aside from that I’ve been good and jumped on the scales this morning and have lost 1kg so far.  So, my weight is back down to 119kgs.  My goal is to stick to it as much as possible for the rest of this week and get down to 118kgs (or even better 117kgs, but that may be a TAD unrealistic!!).

Might be a few challenges in the rest of my week. I have a friend coming to stay for about five days… but I’m going to have to say that I’m not eating, so any meals and things they will need to sort out themselves. I know thats terribly rude, but I need to not have to think about food at all if I am to remain strong!!!!!